HELP I THINK IM AUTISTIC
Hello my dear. Welcome to the existential crisis of the century!
If you’re LGBTQ+ (and out), you generally know how coming out of a closet works. And this is very much the same experience.
Before we dive into everything, I just want to let you know that you’re going to be okay. I know all the thoughts are going a million miles an hour in your head right now, but I promise you, everything will be okay!
I made this resource in 2021. At this point, a lot of these things, especially the resources section, are semi-outdated. The general sentiments still stand, but for more updated resources and information, please check out my media review series and my more recent channel content.
Reminder -
When it comes down to it, autism is a social construct. There is science behind it, of course. And our brains do function differently. And getting a diagnosis from a doctor is ideal. But the point of a diagnosis or a label like this is identity. It’s being comfortable in who you are and being able to get the resources you need to be the best version of yourself.
So stop a moment and think about what this means to you. Think about what you would do with this label and how it would change your life.
I know, it’s scary because there is the whole doctor bit. But try to ignore that for a moment and focus on the identity aspect - is this a community you relate to? Is this the person you are? I don’t mean to cause more existential crisis here, but it’s important to acknowledge why this matters to you.
(For example - for me, accepting myself as autistic meant understanding that I wasn’t “broken” or “defective” but just… different)
Anyway, welcome to your autism journey! I am here to be your guide… I guess? Whatever, let’s get started!
(Please keep all hands, feet, arms, legs, and personal belongings inside the ride at all times)
Step 1: What Is Autism?
Okay, you may already know this one. In fact, if you’re at this point, you definitely do. But I’m going to do a full walkthrough here and I cover things in a lot of depth in my videos so it may be good to get a refresher.
Step 2: So where am I?
Are you contemplating if maybe you have Asperger’s instead? But does Asperger’s even exist? What is happening?
Time to learn about functioning labels!
Step 3: But I’m not…
You’re probably thinking that you’re not like Sam from Atypical and you don’t have obvious meltdowns so you’re unsure if you’re really autistic. Perhaps some doctors have already told you that you aren’t. Blame the media for that one. This video should help clear up why the diagnostic process is a mess.
Step 4: How do you know?
Yeah you’re tired of learning facts. You just want to know how you know that you’re autistic. That’s why you came! So here’s how I knew and what the diagnostic process looked like for me.
Ok but is it just ADHD?
Super valid! People ask me this a lot!
Autism and ADHD often come hand in hand: 30-80% of auties have ADHD and 20-50% of ADHDers have Autism
It can be tricky to know the difference, especially because a lot of the traits appear to be quite similar. The differentiation is the reasoning behind these traits. Here are two examples:
Sensory Issues
Autism - this sensory thing is causing pain
ADHD - this sensory thing is distracting me
ADHD/Autism - this sensory thing is causing pain and distracting me and I think I would like to explode please
Social Issues
Autism - social anxiety is due to lack of understanding and inability to pick up on cues
ADHD - social anxiety is often due to the inability to pay attention
Autism/ADHD - social anxiety is due to the inability to pick up cues when one is able to pay attention to them
(I should add that neurodivergent to neurodivergent communication does not usually have this issue - the problem is typically the mismatch between neurodivergent and neurotypical people)
In my opinion, this distinction is kinda the trickiest part. But, again, it comes down to where you feel you fit.
Watch my video about it here (available May 22)
Further Resources
Those four videos are the most “crucial” for this process, in my opinion.
But I highly recommend checking out my other videos (especially “Why Do We Label?”)
so one of these resources will be a link to my education playlist.
Here are some of my other favorite resources:
Watch
My channel! (specifically the autism bit)
Watch this please —>
(this is really outdated at this point but if you watch it with that knowledge you can build on it from there)
Autmazing (YT channel w/autie mom & kids)
Everything’s Gonna Be Okay on Hulu
This show is about an autie teen played by an autie teen. And there are more LGBTQ+ couples than straight couples (and it’s incredible)
Yo Samdy Sam (late-diagnosed autie YouTuber)
Loop on Disney+
This is an animated short about (& played by) a nonspeaking autistic girl
If you watch anything today, I beg of you to watch this talk. It got me from “maybe I’m autistic?” to “oh absolutely also how does this man know how I played with dolls as a kid”
Web
This is not an exhaustive list and I definitely forgot a lot of great ones. But here’s a few faves to get you started!
Websites
https://musingsofanaspie.com/ - Autism Blog
https://autisticadvocacy.org/ - Autistic Self Advocacy Network
https://awnnetwork.org/ - Autistic Women & NB Network
Instagram accounts
https://www.instagram.com/theautisticlife/ - The Autistic Life
https://www.instagram.com/the.autisticats/ - The Autisticats (they are no longer posting)
https://www.instagram.com/autisticparkranger/ - Autistic Park Ranger (they are no longer posting)
Instagram [meme & tiktok] accounts
https://www.instagram.com/aspiememes/?hl=en - Aspie Memes
https://www.instagram.com/hotasdmemes/ - Hot ASD Memes
https://www.instagram.com/actuallyautistictiktoks/ - TikToks
Wread
I think I’m funny. I’m not. But I think I am. Anyway… BOOKS
Autism History - (Warning: these are upsetting but incredible)
NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman
Asperger’s Children by Edith Sheffer
In A Different Key by Caren Zucker and John Donvan
Experience/World Navigation
Autism in Heels by Jennifer Cook O’Toole (this book, much like the Attwood talk above, is pretty outdated, but helpful within that context)
Sisterhood of the Spectrum by Jennifer Cook O’Toole
The Asperkid's (Secret) Book of Social Rules by Jennifer Cook O’Toole
Funny, You Don't Look Autistic: A Comedian's Guide to Life on the Spectrum by Michael McCreary
Fiction Books From An Autie POV (confirmed or widely agreed)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
Music!
I also curated an #ActuallyAutistic playlist on Spotify made of entirely autistic musicians/artists which you can listen to here
Quizzes
You were waiting for this bit, weren’t you. My general “wisdom” on quizzes is - you know what result you want to get when you start. If you’re at this point, it’s just like being up at 1am taking “am I gay” quizzes.
You already know your answer. (They’re still fun though!)
Here are some of my favorites:
https://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
Imposter Syndrome
It’s okay if, after all of this, you’re still not sure. Or if you are sure but you feel like a fraud. It’s hard coming to terms with a new piece of your identity. You end up reliving your entire life through that lens and you keep trying to convince yourself that maybe you’re wrong. Believe me, I know.
You don’t need a diagnosis to be autistic. You don’t need anyone to validate this identity other than you. If you’ve done your research and you’ve learned and you plan to wear this label proudly and do good with it, I fully support you.
And if that’s what you choose, welcome to the autistic community.
We are so happy to have you :)
Moving Forward
If you’re still unsure, the page I made for parents goes into detail about a lot of pieces of the autistic experience which you can check out here
I also have an autism playlist which you can listen to here
And if you have any questions about being autistic or just want to tell someone that you are, I would love to hear from you! I will try my very best to respond.